Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
