Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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