is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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