Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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