i permit you to call me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I could make wine with my vomit
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Two words: nipple clamps
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