Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
