Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
