you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
