You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
