his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
