why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
