drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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