I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Randomize
