Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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