Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
