Small penises have feelings too.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize