it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
