you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
