I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
