I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
