I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
