What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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