I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize