whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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