Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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