8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
