This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
