Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
