College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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