Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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