Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
