I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
