HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When are your genitals available?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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