i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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