would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
