After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
