Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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