As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
