I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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