Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize