he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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