Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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