If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
