Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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