Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
