So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
