Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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