i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
