ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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