KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
