On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
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