no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
did i just pee glitter
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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