Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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