She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
