Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I don't want my vagina anymore.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
