im having a threesome with these popsicles
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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