It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
