I'm really into asian looking animals
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
