Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
His nipple licking is glorious
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